I can't put a finger on it. Could be the after-Christmas doldrums? I weathered that pretty well, or so I thought. Maybe it's the January blues, unseasonably warm weather, but I usually like the sunshine and warm temps we've been having.
Or, maybe it's a sense of purposelessness I can't get a handle on. I'm unfruitful except for the time I spend with the grandchildren, but which I feel less than capable to spend time with. I look at others filling their days with apparently purposeful work, etc. but what looks like a treadmill to me.
I'm really disorganized. I start a project in one room and go to another room for something forgetting what it was I wanted on the way, only to return to that original project a couple hours later and think, "oh, yeah, this is what I was doing." I guess I'm making sense here.
"It" could be that in spite of the warm weather I'm always cold, and that would be my thyroid which has been out of whack, my TSH being on the high side which means I'm not getting enough supplements to make up for my next-to-nothing-gland. You think you're confused? Usually, this is how I feel, like now, that something very important is missing from my life. That life is bland; I'm spark-less.
My endocrinologist is finally on my side. Months ago he told me my TSH test was fine, even though I knew my body was telling me otherwise. Now, that the test finally proved me right, it's going to take several months to get it balanced--reason enough for this melancholy, right?
Perhaps my feelings are finally catching up with the fact that it was a pretty rough year in 2011, and I'm afraid this one could be really good or it could be even worse...talk about borrowing trouble! One of the difficulties is not knowing if I'm feeling down because I'm physically challenged or mentally out of sync with my faith. I need to remind myself like I remind others, "This too shall pass." Is it possible to give God the glory when I'm feeling this awful? What about this gives Him glory?
I need to go read Debra's, As I See It Now, blog about doing what I need to do to take care of myself and follow those good habits that I've let fall by the way, and I'm finally paying for it physically and mentally. Also, her 1/09/12 post about insecurities. Thanks, Debra, for those reminders.
One thing I do know is that if you love praying for troubled people like me, please pray for me now. I really, really, need it! We're getting guests tomorrow evening and I have to un-decorate the tree, clean up the kitchen and bathroom and get a good night's sleep. But don't just feel sorry for my guests, put a little sympathy in there for me too. I would be most grateful.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Monday, January 02, 2012
Praying for Young Mothers Everywhere
To all the young mothers out there struggling with children who are hyperactive with an abundance of sweets and too many gifts to play with all at once but clutters every inch of your living spaces, I admire you. "Have I (the Lord) not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 NKJV
The path of least resistance comes so easy, while keeping watch over our child's behavior is hard work. But look at the benefits of either action. Which one reaps the better harvest? We get so tired of having to repeat the same chants every day. "Don't pick on your sister/brother, pick up and put away your ______(whatever fits here), don't pick your nose (don't get the first two confused with this one), what's wrong with your hearing, or what don't you understand about 'NO!?'"
Now, if those "gentle" reminders and requests don't work, resort to shouting or screaming. And if that doesn't make their little jaws drop down to their chests, trying throwing something while shouting their name. (Only, try to throw something soft that won't injure your "lit'l darlin" or break into tiny pieces that humiliate you into sweeping up your own mess).
The best that can happen during that tirade is the kid gets off his/her bottom and begins helping you. The worst that can happen is the kid(s) starts grinning or laughing. Oh, if you haven't lost it completely by then, that usually does it! The only wise choice here is to take a book (a Bible seems a good choice) and lock yourself in the bathroom to get your blood pressure down and your courage back up. Hopefully you have more than one bathroom so the kid or kids don't regress in their potty training.
Well, yeah, it feels like only yesterday I was a mother, and only a year since I became grandmother to our daughter's four (she might feel that more than me). What kept me from insisting she have only two and no more? She never seemed in the mood to listen to me talk about the gall and bitter sweetness of motherhood. I wouldn't have it any other way of course since she seems to be in love with their children, but is beginning to consider the blessings of not-at-home learning.
Sometimes, when I hear my daughter trying to discipline those little "hellions" (I always said "not my grandchildren"), I wonder where did she find that voice, and, and, I can hardly bear some of things she's saying in that voice (of course, I exaggerate), and than I hear my own voice with similar words. Oh, no, she learned those disciplinary methods from me?!
Oh, boy, we did this to our daughter? (Of course, it's "we," she has a Father too, you know.) So then, I realize something. My daughter's too far gone to change--she'd never believe she learned anything from me. It was always she and her daddy you know, pretty much like that today. I'm not jealous or anything, mind you. I've always appreciated the fact that my daughter and her father have a neat relationship, all the jokin' around and laughin' (did I mention that some of the jokes and laughin' are about me, sniff, sniff).
I'm good for goin' shopping with, but that's not always guaranteed since my walking isn't so great anymore and my spending is dependent on social security, three fourths of which goes to insurance premiums and meds./drugs.
There's only one thing I can do: take one of the grandkids home for a couple of nights and run after them. Well, actually there's another thing I can do--and that is PRAY! I found this acrostic:
Prayer
How do you pray in the midst of bad times?
Welcome to Habakkuk, the Hebrew prophet in the seventh century B.C. God taught him how to trust Him when everything is filled with confusion and perplexities. Where is God? What is He doing? Why doesn’t He do something now? Habakkuk sounds like us when life begins to unravel and fall apart.
Habakkuk teaches us how to pray and trust the LORD God when we don’t have the answers. Let’s center our thoughts around an acrostic P R A Y E R.
P – ursue God. That is what prayer is all about. Habakkuk asked, “How long, O LORD, will I call for help, and You will not answer?” (1:1).
R – examine self and confess sin. “LORD, I have heard the report about Thee and I fear. O LORD, revive Thy work in the midst of the years, in the midst of the years make it known; in wrath remember mercy” (3:1). The prophet confessed his fears and asked God to revive His work. He prays that God’s work, not his own plans, will be renewed. “Renew your deeds; receive your work,” is the prophet’s confession. He was praying for revival.
The only way we dare approach God is in humility and a plea that He be merciful to us. We need to ask God to do a new work in us. In Your wrath please remember us with mercy.
A – ffirmation of what God is doing. The prophet asked God why He wasn’t doing something about the iniquity, wickedness, destruction, and violence in the land. The LORD told Habakkuk that He was busy doing something. “I am doing something in your days – You would not believe if you were told” (1:5).
Y – ield yourself to the LORD God. Habakkuk did not like what he heard God reveal. "Your eyes are too pure to approve evil, And You can not look on wickedness with favor. Why do You look with favor On those who deal treacherously? Why are You silent when the wicked swallow up those more righteous than they?" (Habakkuk 1:13, NASB 1995).
This is where the prophet grew in His knowledge of God and understanding of His ways with men. What is God teaching me that needs to be corrected? Let us learn to judge everything in the light of His eternal purpose. “The righteous will live by his faith” (2:4). God is still the eternal God, and nothing catches Him by surprise. Nothing can separate us from His love. It is in those moments we must reaffirm that conviction and yield to His sovereignty.
E – xpect God to answer according to His will. “For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea” (Habakkuk 2:14, NASB 1995).
In time God will answer according to His eternal purposes. God controls history. The Babylonians did not rise up on their own. God raised them up to accomplish His purposes in the history of Israel. They were the tool in God’s hand for correction and purification of His people. Look for God’s answer in His Word. God will answer your prayers, and you will be able to stand back in awe and say, “I saw God do it.”
R – ejoice and give thanks to God. Habakkuk closes with a doxology. “Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places. For the choir director, on my stringed instruments” (Habakkuk 3:18-19, NASB 1995).
Selah! http://www.abideinchrist.com/selah/sep16.html
The path of least resistance comes so easy, while keeping watch over our child's behavior is hard work. But look at the benefits of either action. Which one reaps the better harvest? We get so tired of having to repeat the same chants every day. "Don't pick on your sister/brother, pick up and put away your ______(whatever fits here), don't pick your nose (don't get the first two confused with this one), what's wrong with your hearing, or what don't you understand about 'NO!?'"
Now, if those "gentle" reminders and requests don't work, resort to shouting or screaming. And if that doesn't make their little jaws drop down to their chests, trying throwing something while shouting their name. (Only, try to throw something soft that won't injure your "lit'l darlin" or break into tiny pieces that humiliate you into sweeping up your own mess).
The best that can happen during that tirade is the kid gets off his/her bottom and begins helping you. The worst that can happen is the kid(s) starts grinning or laughing. Oh, if you haven't lost it completely by then, that usually does it! The only wise choice here is to take a book (a Bible seems a good choice) and lock yourself in the bathroom to get your blood pressure down and your courage back up. Hopefully you have more than one bathroom so the kid or kids don't regress in their potty training.
Well, yeah, it feels like only yesterday I was a mother, and only a year since I became grandmother to our daughter's four (she might feel that more than me). What kept me from insisting she have only two and no more? She never seemed in the mood to listen to me talk about the gall and bitter sweetness of motherhood. I wouldn't have it any other way of course since she seems to be in love with their children, but is beginning to consider the blessings of not-at-home learning.
Sometimes, when I hear my daughter trying to discipline those little "hellions" (I always said "not my grandchildren"), I wonder where did she find that voice, and, and, I can hardly bear some of things she's saying in that voice (of course, I exaggerate), and than I hear my own voice with similar words. Oh, no, she learned those disciplinary methods from me?!
Oh, boy, we did this to our daughter? (Of course, it's "we," she has a Father too, you know.) So then, I realize something. My daughter's too far gone to change--she'd never believe she learned anything from me. It was always she and her daddy you know, pretty much like that today. I'm not jealous or anything, mind you. I've always appreciated the fact that my daughter and her father have a neat relationship, all the jokin' around and laughin' (did I mention that some of the jokes and laughin' are about me, sniff, sniff).
I'm good for goin' shopping with, but that's not always guaranteed since my walking isn't so great anymore and my spending is dependent on social security, three fourths of which goes to insurance premiums and meds./drugs.
There's only one thing I can do: take one of the grandkids home for a couple of nights and run after them. Well, actually there's another thing I can do--and that is PRAY! I found this acrostic:
Prayer
How do you pray in the midst of bad times?
Welcome to Habakkuk, the Hebrew prophet in the seventh century B.C. God taught him how to trust Him when everything is filled with confusion and perplexities. Where is God? What is He doing? Why doesn’t He do something now? Habakkuk sounds like us when life begins to unravel and fall apart.
Habakkuk teaches us how to pray and trust the LORD God when we don’t have the answers. Let’s center our thoughts around an acrostic P R A Y E R.
P – ursue God. That is what prayer is all about. Habakkuk asked, “How long, O LORD, will I call for help, and You will not answer?” (1:1).
R – examine self and confess sin. “LORD, I have heard the report about Thee and I fear. O LORD, revive Thy work in the midst of the years, in the midst of the years make it known; in wrath remember mercy” (3:1). The prophet confessed his fears and asked God to revive His work. He prays that God’s work, not his own plans, will be renewed. “Renew your deeds; receive your work,” is the prophet’s confession. He was praying for revival.
The only way we dare approach God is in humility and a plea that He be merciful to us. We need to ask God to do a new work in us. In Your wrath please remember us with mercy.
A – ffirmation of what God is doing. The prophet asked God why He wasn’t doing something about the iniquity, wickedness, destruction, and violence in the land. The LORD told Habakkuk that He was busy doing something. “I am doing something in your days – You would not believe if you were told” (1:5).
Y – ield yourself to the LORD God. Habakkuk did not like what he heard God reveal. "Your eyes are too pure to approve evil, And You can not look on wickedness with favor. Why do You look with favor On those who deal treacherously? Why are You silent when the wicked swallow up those more righteous than they?" (Habakkuk 1:13, NASB 1995).
This is where the prophet grew in His knowledge of God and understanding of His ways with men. What is God teaching me that needs to be corrected? Let us learn to judge everything in the light of His eternal purpose. “The righteous will live by his faith” (2:4). God is still the eternal God, and nothing catches Him by surprise. Nothing can separate us from His love. It is in those moments we must reaffirm that conviction and yield to His sovereignty.
E – xpect God to answer according to His will. “For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea” (Habakkuk 2:14, NASB 1995).
In time God will answer according to His eternal purposes. God controls history. The Babylonians did not rise up on their own. God raised them up to accomplish His purposes in the history of Israel. They were the tool in God’s hand for correction and purification of His people. Look for God’s answer in His Word. God will answer your prayers, and you will be able to stand back in awe and say, “I saw God do it.”
R – ejoice and give thanks to God. Habakkuk closes with a doxology. “Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places. For the choir director, on my stringed instruments” (Habakkuk 3:18-19, NASB 1995).
Selah! http://www.abideinchrist.com/selah/sep16.html
Friday, December 23, 2011
Treasure and Meditate
"But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you: he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.'" Luke 2:10-12.
"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19
"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Grandkids
Tuesday evening we went to our grandson's pre-school Christmas program. It wasn't his first public appearance, but this was in a different church and in front of mostly strangers, rather than the crowd he's used to in his home church.
These "firsts" are really interesting now that I'm the grandmother. You never know what a kid is really like until they're in front of an audience. Like any bunch of kids, these were a smorgasbord of personalities from the toddlers on up to the five year old preschoolers.
Priming these innocents for a program begins at home, of course. Since our daughter and husband have four in ages six, four, two, and eight months, we went early (like mid-afternoon) to lend a helping hand in getting the family all pulled together to be there in time. Actually, Papa and I mostly did a little housekeeping, diapering, making a tomato soup and salad supper, and then cleaning all that up.
While we were getting supper on the table, Amy laid out goodies on the dining room table for teacher gifts. I'm not sure of the total number of gifts she had to put together for all the teachers encompassing church and school. Each of the three olders have a couple of Sunday School teachers, several Wednesday night church teachers because there's a lot of part-time sharing, and the first grader has a couple of teachers in public school. I'm out of breath just thinking about it! Amazingly, they got them done without eating all of the M & Ms.
Gone are the days when, with only a couple of kids, Amy baked up dozens of different kinds of cookies. She's learning the freedom of keeping things simple. I tell her once all of these babies are in school her time will be more her own again. From the look of her arched eyebrows I get the distinct impression she doesn't believe me. Or, perhaps she considers her sanity will be gone by then. Na, "you're going to be just fine, dear daughter."
But I digressed. Back to our grandson's first really public performance. I didn't think it was very nice that his teacher singled him out to complain that he hadn't talked to her this Fall, but at least she prefaced it with "Derek is soft-spoken," which was an understatement in a kind of flattering way.
Papa and I were wondering if he would be too shy to even walk onstage with the rest of his class. He looked really snazzy in black slacks, a crisp white shirt, a plaid red, white, and black vest, and red cowboy boots like his daddy always wears (altho' Daddy's aren't red). Oh, and I don't want to forget that he wore a black tie that peeked out the top of his vest. He enjoyed the compliments we all gave him before we left home.
He did really well, even singing the "Twelve Days of Christmas," in which a couple of students took their turn with each day--he and a buddy sang the 11th day together. The song got pretty long, and when he sat down in place I got to thinking that might not be a good sign. Finally, it was finished and it was announced the boys and some of the girls had to get their angel and shepherd attire on.
I got to wondering why Derek didn't leave the stage with the other little guys. Finally, one of the teachers noticed it too and escorted him out. When he didn't return with the other "shepherds," Papa looked at me and said, "bathroom." I wasn't sure because the teacher had made a point of mentioning Derek's name when she dismissed the boys to get their costumes on.
After that, it kind of fell apart. I'm assuming Derek refused to dress up like a shepherd 'cause he was dressed to the nines, and he wanted to keep it that way. The teacher came back with him, and had to pick him up and put him on stage. He promptly walked to the edge of the stage and sat down. Teacher put him back up. He walked to the risers and stepped down to the front row (2 rows ahead of us) and sat down like any other spectator. He was so deliberate about it all, so serious and "adult" about it, neither laughing or crying. Maybe in a few days he'll share with me what was going on in that towhead of his.
Through all this, his daddy was trying to get his attention to stay and stand, but Derek wasn't cooperating. Finally, his older sis, Alana, sat down with him on the front row and tried to talk him into returning to the program. Not even she could persuade him and finally gave up. In the meantime his class had finished the song and gotten off stage.
Now, the program was over, the stage empty. Except for one little four-year-old in red cowboy boots who had finally climbed back up the steps and looked ready for the next number. He finally came down with coaxing from his oldest AND younger sisters.
When everyone was trying to get Derek to stand with his class, his 2-yr. old sis fussed because she wanted to go up there and sing with him. She was ready to show him how it was done. It's going to be interesting next Christmas when she'll also be in pre-school.
The best of this, is that there's one more program to get through--the children's program at church this Sunday evening. We'll get to watch the three oldest shine. Last year Derek wasn't about to do anything, not even for his paternal grandmother whose class he was in. Nothing is going to keep me away from Sunday night's program unless I'm running a fever. Oops! pretend I didn't say that--don't want to jinx it).
Did I mention that it's so much more fun being a grandparent than a parent?
These "firsts" are really interesting now that I'm the grandmother. You never know what a kid is really like until they're in front of an audience. Like any bunch of kids, these were a smorgasbord of personalities from the toddlers on up to the five year old preschoolers.
Priming these innocents for a program begins at home, of course. Since our daughter and husband have four in ages six, four, two, and eight months, we went early (like mid-afternoon) to lend a helping hand in getting the family all pulled together to be there in time. Actually, Papa and I mostly did a little housekeeping, diapering, making a tomato soup and salad supper, and then cleaning all that up.
While we were getting supper on the table, Amy laid out goodies on the dining room table for teacher gifts. I'm not sure of the total number of gifts she had to put together for all the teachers encompassing church and school. Each of the three olders have a couple of Sunday School teachers, several Wednesday night church teachers because there's a lot of part-time sharing, and the first grader has a couple of teachers in public school. I'm out of breath just thinking about it! Amazingly, they got them done without eating all of the M & Ms.
Gone are the days when, with only a couple of kids, Amy baked up dozens of different kinds of cookies. She's learning the freedom of keeping things simple. I tell her once all of these babies are in school her time will be more her own again. From the look of her arched eyebrows I get the distinct impression she doesn't believe me. Or, perhaps she considers her sanity will be gone by then. Na, "you're going to be just fine, dear daughter."
But I digressed. Back to our grandson's first really public performance. I didn't think it was very nice that his teacher singled him out to complain that he hadn't talked to her this Fall, but at least she prefaced it with "Derek is soft-spoken," which was an understatement in a kind of flattering way.
Papa and I were wondering if he would be too shy to even walk onstage with the rest of his class. He looked really snazzy in black slacks, a crisp white shirt, a plaid red, white, and black vest, and red cowboy boots like his daddy always wears (altho' Daddy's aren't red). Oh, and I don't want to forget that he wore a black tie that peeked out the top of his vest. He enjoyed the compliments we all gave him before we left home.
He did really well, even singing the "Twelve Days of Christmas," in which a couple of students took their turn with each day--he and a buddy sang the 11th day together. The song got pretty long, and when he sat down in place I got to thinking that might not be a good sign. Finally, it was finished and it was announced the boys and some of the girls had to get their angel and shepherd attire on.
I got to wondering why Derek didn't leave the stage with the other little guys. Finally, one of the teachers noticed it too and escorted him out. When he didn't return with the other "shepherds," Papa looked at me and said, "bathroom." I wasn't sure because the teacher had made a point of mentioning Derek's name when she dismissed the boys to get their costumes on.
After that, it kind of fell apart. I'm assuming Derek refused to dress up like a shepherd 'cause he was dressed to the nines, and he wanted to keep it that way. The teacher came back with him, and had to pick him up and put him on stage. He promptly walked to the edge of the stage and sat down. Teacher put him back up. He walked to the risers and stepped down to the front row (2 rows ahead of us) and sat down like any other spectator. He was so deliberate about it all, so serious and "adult" about it, neither laughing or crying. Maybe in a few days he'll share with me what was going on in that towhead of his.
Through all this, his daddy was trying to get his attention to stay and stand, but Derek wasn't cooperating. Finally, his older sis, Alana, sat down with him on the front row and tried to talk him into returning to the program. Not even she could persuade him and finally gave up. In the meantime his class had finished the song and gotten off stage.
Now, the program was over, the stage empty. Except for one little four-year-old in red cowboy boots who had finally climbed back up the steps and looked ready for the next number. He finally came down with coaxing from his oldest AND younger sisters.
When everyone was trying to get Derek to stand with his class, his 2-yr. old sis fussed because she wanted to go up there and sing with him. She was ready to show him how it was done. It's going to be interesting next Christmas when she'll also be in pre-school.
The best of this, is that there's one more program to get through--the children's program at church this Sunday evening. We'll get to watch the three oldest shine. Last year Derek wasn't about to do anything, not even for his paternal grandmother whose class he was in. Nothing is going to keep me away from Sunday night's program unless I'm running a fever. Oops! pretend I didn't say that--don't want to jinx it).
Did I mention that it's so much more fun being a grandparent than a parent?
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