Harvesting

I don't know if I have any readers left after how long It's been since I posted. I may not be able to post pictures till next week. I'm using my daughter's computer because I'm at their house helping with harvest in Kansas. Wow, how harvest does wait until the first hottest week of the summer. Sunday, the 21st, was the first day of summer, and just like that the weather responds! It hasn't reached 100 yet today, but with the humidity being high till this afternoon, it felt like more than 100 degrees.

Between my daughter, her mother-in-law (who is a seasoned farmer's daughter and wife and been through many harvests), and myself we manage two preschoolers and an infant, making and serving lunch and supper to 3 men mostly out in whatever field they happen to be. I stayed overnight a couple of nights last week, and came here Tuesday noon and staying till Thursday evening.

I grew up on a Kansas farm when harvesting was done with horses and hayracks, big John Deere tractors that popped and had the large flywheels and belts. The threshing machine, as that era's combine was called, was a huge contraption that, along with the popping John Deere, we could hear coming from several miles away. The wheat had been cut and shocked (bundles of wheat set up together like a teepee) and the horses and drivers pitch-forked them onto the hayracks (wagons) piling the shocks so high on the hayrack it looked like it would topple over.

Since there was only one threshing machine around, harvesting wheat was a community project. Neighbors would follow the machine to each farm with their horses and hayracks, making quite a large crew of 8-12 men that the farmwife would have to prepare a noon meal for. As I remember it, the food was the hostess's responsibility, and some of the neighbor women would come and help serve. My mother would fry lots of chicken, open several jars of home canned vegetables, use several pounds of new potatoes cut in quarters and fried in butter and parsley or mashed and served with gravy, bake several loaves of bread or dozens of rolls, and several pies or cakes to satisfy the hungry crew. We children enjoyed taking cinnamon rolls out for morning break, sandwiches, chips, pickles, and lemonade (except hot coffee for the machine owner who said if he heated up the inside of his body he felt cooler on the outside) for mid-afternoon lunch.

I guess I could go on, but am really tired after a long day on the farm. Having concentrated time with the grandchildren has been a real blessing. Proverbs 17:6 says, "Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children." Seems like I may have written this on another blog I wrote, maybe even the last one. I pray that our children and grandchildren will look back on our lives and have a good heritage to pass on to their children.

New Grandbaby!

April Mae born April 26, 2009 at 3:38 a.m., 7 lbs., 12 ozs., 19 inches. Lots of dark hair--Nana took her hat off here so you could see some of it. She's a real cutie and already we can tell she's a sweet heart. Her mommy calls her "Sweet Pea." She looks a lot like her mommy when she was a baby.
(Ignore the dates as my camera was confused) More pictures below.

APRIL'S STORY:

Did I say in my last post we were expecting our third grandchild in May? We were pleasantly surprised when April Mae was born in April instead of May (her middle name is her other grandma's middle name and not the month). I think her middle name should have been Storm, or Stormie, as her dad, mom, sister, and brother arrived at the hospital during severe thunderstorms. Part of her labor stalled when all of the patients at Newton Medical Center had to sit out a tornado warning in the hospital hallways. Luckily, mom didn't have to deliver to an audience!

In so many ways, God was protecting them. Dean was scheduled to sing with the Mennonite Men's Chorus in Newton and was just getting ready to leave for the early rehearsal when mom felt a strange pressure in her belly, while loading the dishwasher after Sunday dinner. After calling the doctor it was decided she had better get to the hospital to check it out. Amy had her bag packed, but hadn't prepared bags for Alana and Derek who would come to stay at our house. I guess there was some frantic packing going on for the next hour or so. Plus, Alan and I were doing some hard praying that they would make it through the thunderstorms okay. Later, we found out they were just moments ahead of a downburst or straight-line winds that did quite a lot of damage in areas around the road they drove on to Newton.
Since the baby's due date was May 15, and Amy was scheduled to be induced on May 7, it was thought this would be a false start. When Alan and I were at Amy and Dean's house on Saturday, however, I knew there was no way this baby was going to wait to be delivered on May 7. Amy was so uncomfortable and the baby's position had obviously lowered.

Going back to the Sunday before, on April 19, Dean and Amy agonized a few days whether or not they would go to my sister's house in Paola for my family's Easter dinner, a two and a half hour drive. Dean would have to miss the first performance of the year of the Mennonite Men's Chorus at Bethany College in Lindsborg. He finally decided he had better accompany Amy to Paola in case she went into early labor, a highly unlikely prospect given the first two pregnancies, but not impossible as we were to find out.

I jokingly said to Alan on Saturday, the 25th, on the way home from spending the day with Amy, "Wouldn't it be something if Dean had to miss the Mennonite Men's Chorus performance in Newton tomorrow 'cause Amy might go into labor?" I'm not sure that, in the 15-18 years he's sung in the chorus, he has missed a performance. This year he missed both.

When we called our son, Mark, and his girlfriend, Tammy, at about 6 p.m. Sunday evening, Amy had dilated to 4 cm. When Tammy, who is an RN, heard that, she said, "She'll deliver within the next 12 hours. She was right, as April arrived at 3:38 a.m. Monday morning, almost exactly 12 hours from the time they arrived at the hospital. Amy called us around 5:00 a.m.

Praise God, it was so good to hear everyone was doing fine, though tired. These words from Psalm 71 came to mind: "You have taught me ever since I was young, and I still tell of your wonderful acts. Now that I am old and my hair is gray, do not abandon me, God! Be with me while I proclaim your power and might to all generations to come." (v. 17-18) I consider it a precious calling as Mother and Grandmother to pass on to our children and grandchildren the wonderful story of God's grace given to us through His Son, Jesus.

It was certainly God's grace, showered on me through friend's prayers, that brought me through last week. Anticipating the amount of energy I would need to care for Alana and Derek, and wanting it to be a joyful and blessed time of helping Amy and her family adjust to the addition of April to the family, I wondered how I would manage. But why did I spend one minute concerning myself with the details? The week went great one moment, one hour, one day at a time. The neuropathy pain that so often keeps me from enjoying daily life took a backseat to the joy of having April Mae join the family circle, and of caring for the family's needs as they adjust to the added responsibilities. I came home yesterday, May 3, feeling exceptionally tired, but fine otherwise.

We're so very thankful Dean and Amy are Christian parents who are teaching Alana, Derek, and April to know about, and love, God and Jesus. Each morning Alana and Derek listen as Mommy read's a children's Bible story, Daddy read's a Bible verse, and prayer is said before each meal and again at bedtime. One of Alana's favorite songs is "I have the Joy of Jesus in My Heart." It warms my heart to hear her sing it.

Now, it's time for some pictures. I may get carried away and start with some from Easter to the present.

Easter Sunday we met Mark & Tammy at the Flying J in Emporia, halfway between them and us. The Flying J is actually a busy truck stop but has an inexpensive, good-food buffet. We found out it probably wasn't busy because it was the first day for the "No Smoking" law in Emporia.

On the way to Paola, April 19, we drove through the Kansas Flint Hills right after "burn week," when they burn off the old growth to make room for new. It's quite a sight to see the blackened hills. By now, after the rains we've had, it will be green and lovely. I hope we drive to Topeka soon, to see Mark and Tammy, so we can drive through the hills blooming with wild flowers.

Cousins: Our daughter, Amy, is the uncomfortable one sitting on the right. Nancy Miller, standing center, Alissa Unruh, standing left, and from left to right: Savannah Unruh, Hannah Miller, Rachel Miller, & Avery Unruh.

Savannah, Rachel, and Hannah entertained us with their beautiful singing.

The day went much too quickly.

We missed our dear nephew, David, Savannah's dad, who passed away suddenly in January at age 39.

Corey Miller relaxes while the three youngest family members work out a toy dilemma: Madilyn McCool (my sister's great granddaughter), Derek and Alana Suderman, our two grandchildren at that time.




My sister, Jean McCool, admires her youngest greatgrandson, Hunter McCool, with our sister, Mary Jane Funk. Mary Jane's daughter, Denise White and husband, Jim, live in Las Vegas with their children, Kurt and Alexa. Unfortunately, we only see them about once a year.

L-R: Our sister-in-law, Edith Unruh (mother of the late David Unruh), Sisters Mary Jane Funk, Jean McCool, and Moi. We have some great times, just we four meeting at Jean's house, during the summer when we can enjoy antique shopping, eating out or cooking together, going for walks, and being silly "girls" again.

Back home on Sunday, the 26th, we're having fun in the basement waiting out the tornado warning. Alana and Derek like to ride the hobby horse. Alana named him Honey Pie, after Strawberry Shortcakes's horse. Derek is hanging on, but he gets on and rides Honey Pie by himself.

There's always time for snacks at Papa and Nana's house. We usually have Whales and raisins, grapes, cheese, or apple slices. Animal crackers are a big hit as well. There are always plenty of toys, crumbs, and other messes to clean up after Alana and Derek go home. These are the small things that store up precious memories for the years to come.

Big sister and brother are wearing their "billboard" shirts. Mommy made sure she packed them (the date should be the 27th on this pic). They were excited before sis was born about having a baby brother or sister. On our way from the hospital to our house I asked Alana what the baby's name would be if she had a sister. "Anita," she said. I asked, "What if it's a baby brother?"

"I don't know," she said, "but it has to start with a D."

Proud Daddy with his boy and girls. Derek, at two, is a little young to express his opinion about what he'll be when he grows up. Alana, 4, on the other hand, is going to be a cowgirl and ride a horse so she can round up cattle for her daddy. On Saturday, May 2, they put on their cowboy hats and boots and went out to watch Daddy work cattle with Grandpa and Grandma Suderman.

Daddy's girls, at home and doing fine.

Loving and admiring little sis, "Apa," as Derek says.

The best time of all is at the end of the day, when Daddy's in from the farmwork, Mommy's got the dishes done, baths taken, and all can sit down together for a story, cup of milk, then brush teeth and get tucked into bed. Derek sometimes sneaks out of bed and spends a little extra time by himself with Daddy and Mommy. Alana loves her stuffed animals who spend the night with her.

In Psalms 127:3, 4 we read: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth." So true.

We've been blessed twice, first with a son and daughter, and now our grandchildren. Since I have so much to learn yet about life, it's hard for me to think of myself as a grandmother. But everything I've experienced and learned up to this point could not have prepared me for the joy I'm experiencing in our grandchildren.

Time

"Time is a dressmaker, specializing in alterations."

That's a good explanation of why every effort I make to organize and prioritize my time doesn't work. Something comes up to alter my plans and I'm off and running in another direction.

I'm not complaining, however. Just stating a fact. Most of the time the alterations include our two grandkids and their mom who is expecting our third grandchild. Amy is trying to get a lot of things done before that third baby comes sometime in May.

The week before last, we had beautiful Spring-like weather and Amy, Derek (the two-year old), and I went on a shopping trip to Target and Hobby Lobby in Hutchinson while Alana (the four-year old) stayed with Papa. Papa doesn't like to change diapers, altho' he will when he has to, but we decided it was kind-to-Papa-week and took Derek.

Amy was looking for Strawberry Shortcake stuff to put together a birthday party for Alana. Wouldn't you know, that what you're looking for has suddenly gone out of style, or everyone else has the same idea and has bought it off the shelves before you got there. But once Amy has an idea she has an end product in mind and pursues it with vigor, even seven months pregnant. I have no idea where she got her perfectionism and subbornness.

By now I should know that with Amy, being half my age, and with a whole lot more stamina, it's not always a good idea to follow her around a mall. I remember those all-day shopping trips, but that's all they should be--a memory. So no matter how badly I want to get out of the house, I must remember not to go shopping with Amy!

Having said all that, let me add a clincher here: Amy asked me to meet her at her doctor's office when she had an appointment the day after the shopping trip to Hutch. She wanted Alana to hear the baby's heartbeat while I watched Derek in the waiting room. I saw no problem with that.

Why didn't I follow my instincts and take Alana and Derek to my house after the appointment and let Amy shop to her heart's content? Because, I fooled myself into believing that since we had a long day shopping the day before, this would be a short shopping trip. Actually, it was shorter than the day before, but then it included eating out afterwards 'cause mommy's eating for two, don't you know, and it was almost dinner time.

OK, I survived. One long shopping day is plenty, but two days in a row is not for this Nana. Plus, since Papa and I spend Mondays with our daughter at her house, or babysitting at our house so she can go shopping, that was a week of having 3 wonderful days with our daughter and grandkids, but it put me weeks behind in housekeeping, laundry, and blogging.

Today, of course we'll be reaping the harvest of shopping trips well-done. We'll be celebrating Alana's 4th birthday with Strawberry Shortcake splendor. Her smiles and delight will be reward enough for the insignificant pain and aggravation I suffered. Praise God for our children and their children. They keep us young.

"Children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed [are the parents] whose quiver is full of them;..." Psalms 127:3-5a

Beginning Again

First, I want to thank my blogging friends who have expressed their heartfelt sympathies, and for your prayers for my sister-in-law and her family the last couple of months.

I don't know where or how to begin again. I don't know if I can call the time I've been absent a season of grief. I've been mostly mentally and emotionally numb. I don't grieve like I used to. What I mean is I don't cry with tears on the outside. I don't know how I feel about this because life just takes over and there's not enough time to think about or process it. I've thought it's because as I get older and closer to my own mortality I have a sense of relief for anyone who goes home to Jesus. Death is a release from the burden of life in this troubled world. At the same time, I can't imagine the pain my sister-in-law, niece and nephew and their families are going through. David was a special person and is missed by all who knew him.

Maybe I'm numb because I'm not as close to them as I've always wanted to be. They've always seemed like a very close-knit family that I didn't want to intrude. But it could be as simple as me realizing that my brother, being the oldest of us five siblings, and me the youngest, were not especially close to one another because of our age difference. Yet, I've always felt like my sister-in-law was more my sister than an in-law. Since I moved 30 miles away about eight years ago, it seems I moved to a different country. So close and yet so far away. I've always been kind of mystified by how moving such a short distance could make such a difference. I don't want to make it more complicated than it is.

Through the years, for as long as I could remember, family was everything to me. Then I started realizing that other family members may not have the same feelings as I did. It's a disappointment I've carried around for a long time. Maybe it's time to let it go. Maybe it's not about me.

Everyone deals with disappointment and pain in different ways. I get up and dust myself off and start doing something I've wanted to do for a long time but didn't feel motivated to do.

I'm doing some deep housecleaning that I haven't felt like doing since we moved to this house eight years ago. It gives me a great deal of satisfaction to finally get started. It's going to take me awhile because decluttering and organizing have been neglected and I'm kind of mortified by the whole mess.

It's good to be blogging again. Blessings everyone.

A Terrible Sadness

In reference to my appointment with the cardiologist yesterday: the cardio said there's nothing to be too concerned about. I have mitral valve insufficiency which wasn't anything new. I have a thickening of the duct between the lobes which is probably a congenital thing. They'll keep an eye on it, but at this time no treatment or surgery is necessry. Jan. 20th I'll have a stress test and then wear a heart monitor for several weeks.

My health problems have paled compared to what happened in our family this afternoon. My 38 yr. old nephew collapsed and died at work today--a possible aneuryism. A terrible shock. My brother, his father, died in January, 1991 from cancer. It's, of course, going to be really difficult for my sister-in-law, and my nephew's sister and brother and their families. Plus, he left his 11 or 12 yr. old daughter, and his ex-wife, who was still his friend. I know you will pray, and I am so thankful for all who will.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction..."
2 Cor. 1:3

Speed Bumps

Wow! It all happened so quickly. Our son and his girlfriend came from Topeka, and our daughter, who only lives 30 minutes from us packed up her hubby and two preschoolers and stayed overnight on Christmas Eve. I really enjoyed the relaxing time we had. No one was rushing away to get their babies home to bed. Big sister and little brother have taken naps at our house so getting them to sleep after opening the gifts was no big chore. I don't know if we've all been together under one roof since our daughter got married and started their family. I wouldn't mind making it a tradition. But it may not be up to me. With daughter and husband expecting their third next May, arranging for that to happen again could get complicated.

Everyone arrived around 4:30 or 5:00 p.m. so we could eat the ham and green bean soup supper I made. We went to our church for a candle-light communion service at 6:00. Having communion is kind of like having Christmas and Easter all rolled into one big celebration, the Birth and the Resurrection. Of course, the music is one of the things I enjoy most about Christmas. Singing carols together in a congregation of about 300 voices is heartwarming. I thought we could have sang the Hallelujah Chorus to bring it all to an exciting finale.

But quietly eating the bread and drinking of the cup before leaving the sanctuary, lit only by Christmas lights and dozens of candles, was a more appropriate way to "come to the manger" and worship. In the quietness I could almost feel Mary pondering all what was happening as the angel had told her it would, while the shepherds crowded around the little tableau surrounded by cattle, donkeys, and sheep. If I listened closely I could hear the doves cooing overhead, having been awakened by the bright light of the star and the commotion in the little stable. With the kitten asleep at Mary's feet, a mouse safely peeked out from his little doorway, whiskers twitching, to see what was going on. The smell of sweet hay mingled with the balmy breath of a cow standing next to Joseph, contentedly chewing her cud and lending the warmth of her ample body to keep the tiny baby from shivering in the chill of the night air.

We had a lot of fun watching the grandkids open their gifts. Big sister could hardly keep from helping little brother who was too much of a slopoke opening up his gifts. She was Papa Claus's little helper as she handed the gifts out to everyone. By the time we finished we were ankle deep in paper and bows. I got the softest, warmest, heavenly blue robe from my honey. We went a little wild on Christmas gifts this year since I had saved a nice little cache of money during the year. We talked about doing something different for gifts next Christmas - gift cards, and/or donating to a favorite charity and spending less on gifts. I sure do enjoy getting and giving gifts and seeing the pleasure on everyone's faces.

New Year's Day was quiet for us. I made our usual Chex snack mix and 3 dozen New Year's Cookies, a German tradition of making a raised sticky dough with raisins and a little nutmeg, then dropping by tablespoons into hot oil and frying. It's always fun to watch the little rolls turn themselves over. The temperature of the oil has to be just right so the outside doesn't overfry before the inside gets done. After draining we dip them in a thin white frosting or in plain sugar, allowing them to cool enough to eat and enjoy. Yummy. I always eat too many. I still have some peppernut dough to finish baking. I look forward to savoring the recent memories of a great little family Christmas.

I will try to be back in a couple of days to post some pictures. I've been trying to catch up on rest and getting back in the "groove" after the holidays. Several weeks ago I had an echocardiogram and the results show I have a mitral valve insufficiency (which I've known for several years) which has apparently worsened. One of the symptoms is fatigue. In fact, it's the main one I've been experiencing. I'll be seeing a cardiologist this week Wednesday. Please pray for the outcome of the appointment and any further tests. Of course, I don't want to have surgery which is a possibility. Another speed bump in life. We'll see what God has in store for us in 2009.

Thanks for stopping by. I pray God's blessing for you in 2009. Happy New Year.

Skid Marks! No, no....

This isn't the way the holidays are s'posed to be. No, I didn't slide on the snow or ice (at least not yet) and leave skid marks in the street. Rather, I left skid marks in my brain and now I'm going to leave them on this blog where everyone can see them. Or, maybe I shouldn't. But what have I got to lose, huh?

The skid marks go all the long way from Monday, the 15th (my last post) to yesterday, the 17th. Monday, you'll notice how philosophical I was about how I'd adjusted to having a reduced kind of Christmas holiday due to health issues like chronic neuropathy pain, FMS, and diabetes (no meds yet but I'm still trying to be happy about the diet). I might have been a little bit smug about it, if I remember right--not going to re-read it again!

So, in comes Wednesday. I had an about-face which explains the skid marks. I thought I'd outgrown the holiday drudges. Okay, let's name it for what it is: depression. I'm trying not to say it too loudly in case I scare someone off, mainly me. Depression is something I don't like to admit or talk about, nor do most people like to hear about it. But it's a reality I, and many others, live with from time to time.

How I got from a moderate Monday to a low-down Wednesday, I'm not sure. Maybe I was careless with my mental hygiene. I thought I'd set my alarm for 8:00 a.m., but didn't see the light of day till 11:00. The goals I could have accomplished in the three hours sleeping! I might have spent too long a night on the 'puter. I have a tendency to do that and then pay for it the next day. That was after having spent an exhausting Monday with my daughter and grandkids. What made it so exhausting was that I took pity on one of the farm kittens that is not meant to live on the farm. I spent about two hours bathing, drying, and cuddling this baby. You have to know me to know what a pushover I am for innocent little things.

The fact that it snowed almost 5 inches on Tuesday and frightened the sun away, which has yet to show it's face since then, may have had something to do with the crash. A week of clouds can send me down to low levels--it's kind of like flying, or sludging, below the clouds, if you get my drift.

Anyway, there I was, physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, but trying to live up to the expectations I had of what I wanted to get done for the holidays. Which is laughable, 'cause it just isn't all that much. But it sure looked like a big old bag of stuff Wednesday, and it seemed like half or all of it needed to get in that one day. Or else...or else, horrors, Christmas just wasn't going to happen.

If no one has ever been there, thank God for it. I went to bed earlier than usual, slept good except when I got up once for the "necessary." That's when it occurred to me: I always, and I mean always, sleep on my right side. Because when I find a good position where the pain is the least I stay there. But this time when I went back to bed I decided perhaps I should try sleeping on my left side for the rest of the night. You know, maybe that would keep all my brain cells from gelling on one side and keeping me from having a one-sided view upon awakening.

I am much better today as you can tell. Of course, I did have to convince myself to get up and stay up when the alarm went off at 9:00. I had to read a couple of David's Psalms (43, 46) and really take them into my heart where they made a difference in my attitude. So maybe Wednesday was all Stuff and Nonesense, but at the time it felt like hell on earth (forgive me, but I don't know how else to put it).

Perhaps added to fatigue was the fear that I would sink down into the deep depression of the past. But, I'm older and wiser now than I was 30 years ago. I have my faith, as I did then--but stronger, past years of counseling, and a whole basketful of stick-to-itiveness to get me through the drudges.

When it comes down to it, the skid marks are a good sign. For one thing I didn't skid off the path and lose my way completely. I used the things I've learned from compassionate others how to turn to the left or right to get going again after I smashed into the brick wall.

Oh, thank God, today I'm enjoying beautiful Christmas music on the radio and CD player. I'm going to finish making the dough I started Tuesday evening and begin baking peppernuts. Tomorrow I'll mix up a batch or two of pumpkin bread to give away and freeze, and address a few Christmas cards to send. I had a bad Wednesday--SO WHAT!--it was only one day instead of several. Sometimes a few skid marks is all we need to realize for what we have to be grateful.

For whatever it's worth, thanks for reading my sad story with a happy ending. The wonder of Christmas isn't what we do, but that God came down to earth at Christmas and His Spirit is always with us. And I'd better not forget it! I pray His Spirit is with you this Holiday Season: Merry Christmas!