Whenever I have a long or short pause between posts it's because I'm having computer problems (not this time as my ISP is working for now), I'm just way too busy and too tired to think and write. Other times I'm having a foray into a large or small struggle with depression which I don't like to talk about.
When I'm too busy to write I think about all kinds of creative ways I could write about living and dealing with chronic pain, diabetes, and the depression and/or anxiety that accompanies these physical manifestations. That is until I do have the time to write. Anyone who has experienced depression or the blues knows what a block it can be to writing creatively. Anyway, who wants to hear it? Maybe on a different blog.
Another reason for a pause in writing on my blog is receiving a surprise or shock to my sensibilities that throws me off-balance and, being the obsessive thinker that I am, I have to take some time to recover my equilibrium. This is not the way I used to be before the chronic pain and diabetes came into my life, when I was plenty busy with work and other enjoyable activities. I used to utter an, "Oh, well, that's life," and go on.
The point I'm getting to is, our daughter and family were at our house a couple of weeks ago and dropped a big surprise on us. Well, it was and it wasn't. If you know what I mean? You'll know as soon as I get to the point. Without further ado here it is--our daughter handed us this picture:
I started asking my daughter why she was holding the #4. And then it dawned on me! Now some people are probably a lot quicker than I am. Also, I should have known something was up when her hubby made an out-of-the-blue comment about us not having a recent family picture of them around the house. They're good when it comes to catching us by surprise.
Why should I have been surprised after having suspicions a couple weeks earlier, when I noticed our daughters mid-section pooching and thinking, "I'd bet all my money (which isn't much) on it, that she's pregnant. I quickly put it on the back burner 'cause even then I was having a difficult time wrapping my mind around the idea they would have another child soon. I thought, "Their life as farmers and parents to three is very busy now." "What would it be like with another baby," I wondered. Chaotic, that's what! But blessed, I'm sure.
What tickles me is that the 3-yr. old son has the same expression as his daddy. The oldest one has a kind of oh-well-it's-just-another-brother-or-sister look on her face, and the baby hasn't a clue of what will be hitting her in about eight months. I usually feel somewhat sad for the baby having to adjust to a new sibling. They've hardly had the time to capture their mommy's and daddy's hearts when they must move over to share their needs with another. Is two years long enough to solidify in a child's mind that they are still the twinkle in their mom's and dad's eyes, or have they gotten enough of mom and dad to think, "oh, what a relief. Now mom and dad will concentrate on someone else while get a break from their smothering so I can grow up?" But what-if this baby turns out to be April's birthday gift on April 27, 2011??
Well, there you have it. How my mind does go on in life's situations. I probably create most of my own troubles, hardly giving God a chance to calm me down to empower me with gratitude for all that life has to offer. Yet, nothing's going to stop me from loving baby April in the next 8 months and thereafter to teach her she has a solid place in our world, being loved and loveable. That's the way I've felt with each one, but as you know when a new baby comes into our lives he or she takes command of the whole family in a way we've hardly anticipated even though we've been through it several times before. Oh dear, there I go again, borrowing trouble from the future.
I ask your prayers for Amy as she sludges through the fatigue and hormonal complexities of these first months of pregnancy. I can only help her out a couple afternoons a week. Pray for me to calm down and trust God to meet her needs through others. Her mom-in-law lives much closer than me and is a big help. Her hubby is like most at this time, wondering when this phase is going to be over. He helps as much as he can.
They're into Fall harvest which is more involved than wheat harvest in the Spring. It keeps the women busy preparing and taking lunch and supper out to the field and cleaning up afterwards. It's hard work lugging all that stuff to and from the van, including buckling and unbuckling several children into the car seats. Harvest demands long hours of the farmer when the farmer's wife is a harvest widow. Our son-in-law is good to his family. He takes at least one or both of the oldest out in the tractor or combine with him (air-conditioned cabs are a God-send), and takes time to tuck them into bed when he can. The expectant father tends to have his stresses too, especially when there are one or more of the children restless at night and sleep is an illusive dream. He needs prayer too.
When I go help our daughter I usually go mid-afternoon through bath and bedtime for the kids. Pray for a divine strength to carry me through those strenuous hours. As I always say, this too shall pass--maybe not having babies, but these early years requiring all the energy two parents, and two sets of grandparents, can handle. I don't know how families with ten or more kids do it! It proves hard work doesn't kill us and that we keep going by the Grace of God, I'm sure.
That's my wish and prayer for all of you today, the Grace of God be with you.